22 GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE

MARCH 7, 1997

Dykes Towatch Out For by Alison Bechdel

Futures Trading

CLARICE? UH, I WONDER

IF YOU COULD GET ME A COPY OF YOUR TAX RETURNS FROM THE PAST FIVE YEARS.

JATYWNI

Teut וכ3

ALEXIS, WE SENT YOU THAT STUFF MONTHS AGO!

UM... WELL, I'VE BEEN BREAKING IN A NEW SECRE⋅ TARY AND SHE GOT A TAD OVERZEALOUS WITH THE PAPER SHREDDER.

SHORTLY... SHREDDED?

CLARICE, IF YOUR "FRIEND" SCREWS UP THIS ADOPTION, YOU'RE GONNA BE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH. AT HER PLACE. WITH HER PET GIRAFFE!

BABE, I HAVE ANOTHER CALL. CAN YOU JUST GET THE COPIES IN THE MAIL?

AN' DEN... AN' DEN... AN DEN DE MOUSE WANTS SOME MINK.

VAL

PERRY MASON SCREW UP AGAIN?

NATURALLY. D'YOU THINK YOU COULD STAY HERE WITH HIM WHILE I RUN OUT TO THE COPY SHOP?

http://www.visi.com/~oprairie/

LIKE I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO! NO MATTER HOW BUSY I AM WITH RAFFI AND THE HOUSE AND MY BOOKEEPING GIGS, I'M THE ONE WHO HAS TO DROP EVERYTHING BECAUSE CLARICE'S JOB IS MORE IMPORTANT.

AN' HE DWINKS IT WIF A STWAW

MMHMM.

991 BY AUSON BLOKTE.

IT'S THE SAME WITH DANIEL. JUST BECAUSE I'M BETWEEN JOBS, HE THINKS I HAVE TIME TO STAND AROUND IRONING HIS DRAWERS. OH, I BROUGHT YOU THE TAPE OF YESTERDAY'S ALL MY CHILDREN."

...AN

DEN HE

CUTS HIS HAIR AND MAKES SUCH A MESS.

I'VE GOTTA GO BACK TO WORK FULL-TIME. GOD KNOWS WE NEED THE MONEY. I DON'T WANT RAFFI SPENDING HIS WHOLE CHILDHOOD IN THIS DUMP.

AND THEN THERE'S RETIRE MENT TO START WORRYING ABOUT. WITH WALL STREET TRYING TO GET ITS PAWS ON SOCIAL SECURITY, WE COULD ALL BE ON THE STREETS WHEN WE'RE SEVENTY.

I THOUGHT WE'D BE ON THE STREETS ANYWAY.

ISN'T SOCIAL SECURITY GOING BROKE?

YEAH, BUT THERE ARE OTHER SOLUTIONS BESIDES HANDING BROKERAGE FIRMS MILLIONS OF NEW ACCOUNTS TO COLLECT FEES ON. AND WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE STOCK MARKET FALLS?

MAYBE RAFFI WILL GROW UP TO BE A RUTHLESS INVESTMENT BANKER, AND WITH THE MONEY HE BILKS OUT OF WIDOWS AND ORPHANS HELL BUY A NICE LITTLE CARIBBEAN ISLAND FOR HIS NEAREST AND DEAREST TO RETIRE ON.

IF HE'S THAT RUTHLESS. WHAT MAKES YOU THINK HE'LL SPARE US?

WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT YOU? I'M THE ONE WHO READ TO HIM. YOU WERE ALWAYS FLITTING OFF TO KINKO'S.

CARLOS! SEE DE MESS?

SEE?

HUH. LOOKS LIKE YOUR ROOM.

BYE-BYE, MOMMY.

HONESTLY ETHEL by John D. Anderson

WELL,

AREN'T YOU

NO. THERE'S

ASLEEP YET?

A BIG HAIRY SPIDER IN BED WITH ME!

SMASH IT!

I CAN'T SMASH IT! FIRST I NEED TO GET UP AND GET A JAR, THEN COAX IT GENTLY INSIDE, THEN

CARRY IT OUTDOORS...

SMASH!

WELL, CAN YOU SLEEP

NOW?

NO. THERE'S A VICIOUS MURDERER IN BED WITH ME.

E-Mail: ETHELCOMIX@AOL.COM

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